Facebook Me? No Thanks!

Facebook Me? No Thanks!

Sometimes I want to be anonymous.

I do not want to be found on LinkedIn, Facebook, MySpace, or


I do not want that guy I never liked in high school

Sending me a friend request.

I do not want that woman I worked with when I was 23,

Who probably remembers the times I screwed up in work,

And that I got fired;

I definitely do not want her as part of my


There's a reason I moved on with my life,

And did not stay in touch with some of these people.

I thought I was done with them


But now they're looking me up on social networks.

Friend me.

How can I turn them down?

What should I say?

"Sorry, I never really liked you

In high school, because

You gave me that embarrassing nickname that I hated. "

Or, "Sorry, you must have forgotten that I had a

Shouting match with you in the office

Twenty years ago,

And I always suspected you got me


So, no thanks, I do not want to be your friend now. "

I'd rather present a different face to the world,

And list my many accomplishments, triumphs, and

Awards (even if I'm a little hazy about some of them).

I'm looking for a different network;

I'm looking for a different me.

I'd rather not chat about old times,

Because it's old times I'm trying to forget.

Did not you see my profile picture?

I'm more distinguished now,

Somehow more, oh, professional.

That person you want to connect to

Is in a different network.

The stuck-in-a-time-warp network.

I'm not part of that anymore.

I hope.

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