Should I De-Friend My Ex on Facebook After We Break Up?
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Should I De-Friend My Ex on Facebook After We Break Up?

Breaking up is a lot harder than it used to be.  Instead of just walking away we now have to delete an ex boyfriend or girlfriend from our phone contacts, emails, text-messages, and even our friend lists on Facebook and MySpace.

But is this the right thing to do, in light of a recent breakup?  Should you really be defriending your ex as soon as you’re no longer dating, or is it okay to remain friends with them through these social networking websites?

Facebooking Your Ex When You’re Still In Love With Them

The real answer lies in whether or not you’re going to try and get back with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend.  If you still have feelings for this person and would like to give the relationship another shot, de-friending your ex in response to breaking up is probably not such a good idea.

For starters, running to the computer and removing your ex from your friends list makes you look foolish and immature.  It shows less that you’re cutting ties and more that you’re trying to make an actual statement.  Your ex is more likely to see you as petty, bitter, and slighted by the fact that they broke up with you, starting you right off on the wrong foot in your efforts to eventually get them back.

Even more seemingly desperate is when you’re still Facebooking your ex after the breakup.  There’s only one reason you could be doin this, and that’s to obviously check up on them.  Your boyfriend or girlfriend will eventually know that you’re following their every move, and suddenly you seem both needy and stalker-ish.  This will only justify your ex’s decision to end the relationship, and continue with the break.

What To Do With Facebook When You and Your Ex Break Up

If you’re still trying to get back together with your boyfriend or girlfriend, every single move you make is important.  For this reason, it’s vital that you completely pull the plug on your computer and not even log into Facebook for a while.

By NOT removing your ex from your friends list, you’re showing them that you really don’t care either way.  By NOT defriending them from Facebook or MySpace, you’re actually taking the high road.  And once your ex sees that you haven’t even logged in to these social networking sites in a while?  You’re suddenly demonstrating that you have much more important things you could be doing… and your ex will be wondering what (or who) those important things are.

Remember: your ex won’t miss you until you haven’t been around for a while.  If they can check your Facebook status and look at your wall, they pretty much know what you’re doing each day.  Instead of giving away this knowledge for free, you need to become a complete mystery to your ex boyfriend or girlfriend.  Getting them back is more about making them miss you, and getting your ex to chase after you, instead of vice versa.

Learning What To Do If You Still Want Your Ex Back

In the meantime, you should be looking for signs that your ex still loves you.  Even without following them on Facebook, there will be signals given off by your ex when they still have feelings for you.  Know what these are, so you can spot them early.

Beyond that, getting back together with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend requires a step by step plan.  If you’re trying to reverse an unwanted breakup, your romance is way too important to leave to chance.  ‘Winging it’ and hoping for the best is never a good idea, especially not when you can learn exactly what to say and do that will make your ex want you back in their life again.