Stranger in My Bed: Love, Lust, and Obsession

I went to sleep by myself, but when I was woken up at midnight, there was a stranger in my bed. Yes, a woman I had no prior arrangements to share a bed with was in my bed without even me noticing it. Confounding the situation is that I shared a flat with a male friend of mine who had gone out for the night. He was as shocked as me at the sight of the woman in our shared bedroom. We had an unwritten gentleman’s agreement not to have any overnight female visitors in our flat.

I must admit after a cursory investigation it became clear that I knew the woman. She had a month earlier been my one-night-stand. I had erroneously believed that we both understood the limits and prospects of our casual hanky-panky. I had no reason to believe otherwise. In any event, she had told me in no uncertain terms that she was involved with someone else. Our dalliance was meant to be short-lived and sexual only. As it turned out, it was anything but.

At the time, we got physically involved we were both vulnerable in a way. We were far away from our familiar surroundings involved in a community development work at the student winter camp. I had known her informally for many months. I had not even for a minute been physically or otherwise attracted to her.

At any rate, she was not my type of girl. It is beside the point that at the time I had made a vow not to get emotionally or sexually attached to any woman, as I wanted to focus all my energies on my studies. I was also low on confidence due to the fact I was flat broke. My vow of sexual abstinence had progressed well for six months until that fateful afternoon when my testosterone levels shot through the roof at a distant possibility that she was sexually attracted to me. I must say, it was a strange twist of fate. In the heat of the moment, I decided to make an exception in her case.

Without discussing anything, we both instigated a plan to have time alone. So when others went to the nearest shopping centre, we both stayed behind. I was eager to navigate the unknown with a woman I barely considered as a sexual partner, let alone a lover. However, there seemed to be mutual eagerness, driven by newness of discovery, which I felt was mutual. At the back of my mind, I was excited at a distinct possibility that I was about to get laid. I somehow thanked my lucky stars that she had recognised the loneliness in me, and she was prepared to go an extra mile to make it all vanish. All things being equal, I relented, and broke my vow. There wasn’t even any pretence that we loved each other. We were both simple burning with lust for each other.

At the time, I had no idea that she was an obsessive person. For me my relationship with her was nothing more than a once-off sexual and casual arrangement. After our return from the winter camp, there was in mind at least no expectation that anything remotely relationship-like would happen.

However there was strong mutual lust between us. I relented again, and slept with her post the one-night-stand agreement. I guess this was a turning moment in our relationship, I ostensibly lead her on to a point where she at least in her mind believed there was, “us.” I must confess that in her everyday behaviour, there was no hint that she was hypersexual and obsessed with me.

In hindsight, I should have known better. Our casual relationship started in the bedroom, clearly as an obsessive woman, she developed an emotional bond. Because of our physical intensity, she assumed that I was head over heels for her. Psychologists have long concluded that obsessive lovers often rush into a sexual relationship before developing an emotional bond with their partner. These types of casual lovers’ mistake physical sexual encounter with love. Trying to connect the dots of her behaviour post the student camp, I should have seen the signs. I didn’t. She somehow managed to be in the vicinity of wherever I was. I spent a hell of the time at the students’ club offices. She was always there. These accidental meetings didn’t stop her habit of daily checking up on me via cell-phone to touch base and catch up as it were.

But, I am getting ahead of myself. Let me tell you how it all went down. On one mundane Friday afternoon, I had decided on calling it an early night. I slept on the floor mattress in my friend’s flat with whom, we shared the place. I might have gone to sleep around 09:00 pm. At some point during my sleep, I felt as though something or someone was touching me inappropriately. I just assumed that it was my flatmate, and possibly he was too drunk to hop onto the bed. In my sleepy state, I moved from the floor mattress to squeeze myself into the bed that had a bunch of exercise books. I didn’t even remove them; I squashed myself in and continued sleeping.

At midnight, I was woken up by a commotion. As I became fully awake, I was shocked to see my flatmate standing at the door looking dumbfounded. I took one look around and lo and behold, there was a stranger tucked away on the floor mattress. I removed the sheet from the head, and made the astonishing find. Wait for it; there she was sleeping peacefully as though she owned the place. I woke her up and demanded that she leaves at once. She didn’t look particularly perturbed. I walked her half-way to her place. During our walk of shame I probed as to what happened. She said she couldn’t sleep without me, so she decided to come. She admitted that upon her arrival I was fast asleep. “I saw that you were sleeping peacefully, so I didn’t want to disturb you. I simple joined you and felt safe,” she said. It hit me that I was dealing with a mental case of an obsessive woman. My anger dissipated immediately, and I laughed harder than I should have.

I explained to her that the golden cup wasn’t even broken – it wasn’t there at all. Somehow, she understood the enormity of what she had done and mumbled an apology. On that night of the stars, we parted ways for good. She went on to find happiness elsewhere, and I moved on.