Marriage is hard work and requires effort and commitment, along with respect, from both partners to be successful. If the individuals in the marriage are emotionally balanced and reliably healthy, this effort can produce a union that is mutually fulfilling and supportive. However, there are some differences where the actions of one of both partners is unhealthy and so destructive to the other partner and the relationship that it might be appropriate to consider ending it. Here are 4 signs that the marriage may be too toxic to be able to save:
1. Abuse is occurring. Whether it is physical or emotional / verbal, abuse is a very damaging experience in a marriage. If the abuse is physical, this is very dangerous and frequently gets worse over time. Please contact a domestic violence shelter or counselor for professional guidance on how best to leave your situation. If you are a victim of emotional abuse, you are likely to feel incapable, worthless, and may even question your own mental stability due to your partner's criticism, demeaning attitude, and controlling behavior.
2. Addictions are untreated and the partner is actively abusing the substance. These situations are very tough. Your spouse is unquestionably to be capable of being fully present in the relationship when his or her main goal is scoring the next high or drink. In addition, you may be dropped into a system of crisis management mode in order to reduce the level of consequences upon yourself and your partner. You may be faced with legal and financial impact upon you (DUI's, accidents while using, etc.)
3. Your partner cheats repeatedly. An affair does not have to mean a marriage is over, but both spouses have to be willing to commit, forgive and work very hard to establish different communication strategies and better accountability. If a partner is continuing or has a series of affairs, however, this is illegally disrespectful and damaging, and there is no real foundation to build any kind of trust or relationship upon. You are actually risking your very health as well, being with a non-monogamous partner.
4. Your partner has a personality disorder such as narcissism or sociopathy. These disorders are if extremely destructive to personal relationships and are difficult if not impossible to treat. Flaunting of rules, sense of entitlement, lack of conscience or empathy for others, compulsive behaviors, irresponsibility, and a sense of superiority and haughtiness can be signs of a personality disorder.